The Highly Sensitive Temperament and your health

It seems my article on the Highly Sensitive Temperament (HST) struck a chord with many readers! One of the responses I got was from a young woman whom I’ll call Lana. She wrote:

“Hi Robyn

I would just like to say how helpful this email was. I took the ‘highly sensitive’ quiz [on Elaine Aron’s website] and didn’t know some of those things like feeling rattled with loud noises was a sensitivity thing… learning so much about myself and it’s nice to know there are others out there that feel these same feelings.”

Lana, I couldn’t agree more! When you’re highly sensitive, you’ve usually been told all your life that you’re ‘too sensitive’, or that you need to ‘toughen up’ when you cry over news stories about total strangers, or that you’re ‘weird’ for not being able to cope with the noise and lighting in busy shopping centres.

Often, when my clients realise that they are Highly Sensitive (for example, by taking the self-quiz that Lana mentioned), they ask me “Can I get over this?” That breaks my heart, because I believe that Highly Sensitive People are a true gift to the world; and in fact their compassion, sense of justice, and commitment to contributing to the lives of others, are needed if we are to solve the multiple social, environmental and political crises besetting humanity.

But I do understand why some Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) might wish they were a bit less sensitive: this deep caring, empathy and commitment to service can take a heavy toll on their physical and psychological health.

Owing to a few rather unique aspects of my practice, I see an unusually high number of HSPs, and this (in addition to being an HSP myself) has given me some helpful insights into the link between HST and health.

Those unique aspects of my practice include:

• I work extensively with people who struggle with emotional eating. Many, if not most, of these are HSPs, who learned early on in life to stuff down their feelings with food. When Highly Sensitive Children are raised by non-highly sensitive parents, or HSPs who’ve been raised to suppress their sensitivity, they usually find that their highly sensitive nature is not understood or tolerated. There’s no room for them to express their strong feelings, so they learn that the only way to stay safe and get the approval they so desperately need is to suppress those feelings with food.
• I see large numbers of people with autoimmune diseases. In caring for people with rheumatoid arthritis, ulcerative colitis, Sjögren’s syndrome, lupus and other autoimmune conditions, I’ve observed that a disproportionately high percentage of them are HSPs. Many of them report that their condition developed after a prolonged period of stress, such as caring for elderly parents (HSPs often take up this role while their less-sensitive siblings evade it!), or being bullied at work or school (HSPs are frequently targeted by bullies because bullies perceive their strong emotional reactions as weakness).
• A high proportion of my clients is vegetarian or vegan. According to a 2010 poll, only 2% of the Australian population is vegetarian, and 0.06% vegan. Yet around 40% of my clients are vegetarian or vegan (largely due to the fact that I’m one of the few naturopaths in the country who is an expert on plant based diets, and experienced in taking care of the health of people following them!).While some people – particularly those in older age groups – adopt a vegetarian or vegan diet for health reasons, most people who choose to forgo animal products do so because of a profound sense of compassion for animals. They abhor cruelty, especially when inflicted on those who are powerless, and refuse to participate in the products of such cruelty. This deep empathy, sense of justice, and willingness to take action in alignment with their values, even when it may have negative consequences such as being teased or harassed by aggressive meat-eaters, rejected by their families, and finding it hard to get a decent meal in many restaurants, are qualities typically found in HSPs.

So how does having a HST impact on your health? HSPs can literally make themselves sick with worry! Because they care so deeply for others – including people they haven’t met, and non-human animals – they can turn themselves inside out analysing all their interactions with others, concerned that they may have caused offence; rack themselves with guilt that they aren’t doing enough to help solve the world’s problems; burn themselves out trying to meet everyone else’s needs while putting their own dead last; and take to heart every criticism and complaint about them without being able to distinguish whether it’s valid or not.

On top of this, the very intensity of an HSP’s feelings, and the fact that they are so sensitive to other people’s feelings (to the point where they may be unable to distinguish between their own emotions and the other person’s) is completely exhausting!

HSPs who haven’t learned how to manage their sensory and emotional sensitivities are prime candidates for stress-related illness and addictive/compulsive behaviours such as emotional eating (which has a temporary numbing effect on those powerful emotions).

I LOVE teaching HSPs how to use Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT, because it frees them to express all the gifts inherent in their temperament – creativity, imagination and curiosity; ability to focus, work hard and solve problems; deep appreciation for nature, art, music and things of beauty; compassion,  intuition and ability to access important information from the unconscious mind, caring and spirituality; ability to experience profound and intense joy – without sinking under the weight of their intense feelings.

The case of a client whom I’ll call Amanda illustrates the healing power of EFT beautifully. Amanda is a classic HSP – very empathic, devoted to caring for others through her work as a massage therapist, and the emotional and practical caretaker of her family.

She came to see me because she was in a dilemma that was literally making her sick: she had promised her emotionally unstable and demanding mother that she would move in with her so her father could return home from the hostel where he spent his nights, because Amanda’s mother was unable to cope with his ‘sundowning’ (confusion, restlessness and wandering that occurs in the evening in dementia patients).

Amanda was deeply concerned about the effect that the move would have on her husband, her marriage and her own sanity, given the challenging relationship she has with her mother. But she felt under enormous pressure from her mother, father and siblings to move back home. She was so stressed she couldn’t eat or sleep, and had not a moment’s peace from the constant torrent of distressing thoughts and feelings about the situation.

We used the EFT tapping process and Matrix Reimprinting on Amanda’s conflicted feelings about the move, and many memories from her earlier life that had shaped her views of who she was, and what her ‘proper’ role in the family was.

After our 3rd session, Amanda wrote to me:

Hi Robyn,

I am so grateful for the tapping sessions and support to undo some conditioning in order to live more happily. It is giving me a tonne of relief and reminding me that I can do something other than feel ‘overwhelmed’.

I have had a few moments of anxiety but they were very mild. After a good night sleep, not broken by torrid dreams as I have been experiencing lately, I had a great talk with [her husband] this morning (regarding the whole situation of my identity/family…).

We discussed options and aligned with our intentions to support each other and our aging parents.

Then my father rang unexpectedly asking to see me, so I went over. I was confronted by many demands to assist them. I started to cry and tell him of how their demands were causing stress. They expressed their worries and we all had a cry. I was able to be honest and tell them I was not ready to move in but would help them as much as possible. It felt good to be free of guilt.

In great appreciation, Amanda

I can’t express MY appreciation for EFT enough! It is, quite simply, the most powerfully transformative  tool I’ve ever encountered for helping HSPs heal physically and emotionally.

Ready to learn how to master your Highly Sensitive Temperament so you can reap all of its benefits without suffering from its potential down-side? I use EFT and Matrix Reimprinting extensively with my highly sensitive clients, to help them reach their full potential for health and happiness.

If you would like to learn more about how EFT and Matrix Reimprinting can help you, apply for a Roadmap to Optimal Health Consultation.