Weight loss is one of the top 5 reasons why people seek my help. That’s hardly surprising, given that Australia is now the 5th-fattest nation in the OECD, with 28% of Australian adults classed as obese (Body Mass Index [BMI] greater than 30 kg/m2) and a further 35% overweight (BMI 25-29.9 kg/m2).
It also probably won’t surprise too many people who’ve struggled with their weight, that most of my clients with weight issues confess that they’re emotional eaters. And one of the primary foods they turn to when they’re eating for emotional reasons, is chocolate.
While most of my clients are willing to make fairly substantial dietary changes in order to lose weight, almost of all them plead with me,
“Don’t take my chocolate away – I don’t know how I would cope without it.”
Now, chocolate has never been a ‘thing’ for me. Even back in the days when I had a crazy sweet tooth, chocolate was never something I really went for. But that makes me fairly unusual; chocolate is the most-craved food among Western women. In fact, chocolate cravings account for almost half of all food cravings.
Researchers speculate about why chocolate is the object of such intense desire. Is it due to chocolate’s unique ‘orosensory properties’: research-speak for that melt-in-the-mouth sensation created by cocoa butter, which melts at body temperature; the magic combination of sugar and fat; and the distinctive cocoa aroma?
Or it is because of the bioactive compounds in chocolate: phenylethylamine (PEA), the so-called ‘love drug’ that’s released in the brain when you fall head over heels for someone; caffeine and theobromine, which have stimulatory effects; or the anandamide-mimicking compounds which bind to the brain’s cannabinoid receptors, producing heightened sensitivity and euphoria?
Alternatively, maybe it’s the effect of chocolate on the brain’s opioid receptors, which shape our response to pleasure, stress and pain.
Whatever the scientific explanation for the phenomenon, ‘chocoholism’ is real.
And it’s a real problem for people who struggle with their weight. At the most obvious level, chocolate is an extremely energy-dense food, meaning that a small amount of it packs a huge calorie wallop. Just 100 g of high-cocoa solids dark chocolate adds 2456 kJ (585 calories) to your day’s energy intake. (Hands up everyone who could easily eat 100 g of chocolate in one go – you know who you are ;-).)
But even for those who aren’t downing 585 calories of the stuff each day, the mere fact that they feel they need it is a red flag for me. Why? Because it points up a broader habit of eating to suppress emotions. When a client tells me,
“The only way I can get through the day is if I have a little ‘something’ each afternoon,”
I know I have a person sitting in front of me who feels overwhelmed by her emotions and perceives them as terrifying, overpowering enemies that she can’t cope with. That’s why she turns to the chocolate; she’s literally stuffing down her feelings with food. Little does she realise, of course, that any improvement she’ll experience in her mood will be short-lived – about 3 minutes, according to German researchers who tested this out on human volunteers.
(By the way, if chocolate isn’t available, this person will just attempt to stuff her feelings down with some other food. I’ll guarantee you she won’t try stuffing them down with alfalfa sprouts though; the foods that people crave when they’re emotionally eating are always high calorie such as cheese, ice cream, chips and cake.)
The reality is that our emotions are a valuable source of information about how our lives are going, and we ignore or suppress them at our peril. For example, anger is often maligned as a ‘negative emotion’, which you should try to get rid of as quickly as possible. I disagree.
As I’ve written previously, allowing ourselves to really feel anger and work through it intelligently (not wallow in it or act out on it!!!) often provides insights into ourselves, our relationships and our life journey, and a valuable spur to make life-enhancing changes, that would be lost if we just ate that anger away. Same goes for other unpleasant emotions such as sadness, guilt and loneliness.
Interestingly, many of my clients who are self-confessed emotional eaters have been prescribed anti-depressant drugs, which only serves to reinforce the perception that their emotions are dangerous, damaging and ‘wrong’.
There’s nothing wrong with your brain chemistry if you feel sad because your mother died; or angry because your boss exploits you; or betrayed because your partner cheated on you. You’re just a normal human being with normal human emotions. You don’t need to be drugged into a zombie-like state; you just need to learn how to handle your feelings and to have your confidence restored that you can weather the emotional storm and come out the other side.
And you can learn to handle those powerful and disturbing feelings in ways that enhance your emotional well-being and improve your life. That’s why I teach Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to practically all my clients… and definitely to all those who struggle with emotional eating. In fact, I developed a whole program around using EFT for emotional eating, which you can read about here.
At the end of the day, it’s not about the chocolate, or the chips, or anything else you crave. It’s about learning how to embrace every element of being human, including your painful emotions. You won’t need to eat emotionally once you’re not scared of your feelings anymore and you know how to handle them.
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