Is wrestling with your ‘Inner Saboteur’ a regular part of your life? Just about everyone has experienced the frustration and bitter disappointment of making a decision to achieve a goal (lose weight, quit smoking, get fit, stop getting angry at the kids…), only to find themselves continually lapsing back into the old behaviour.
If your willpower seems to be constantly at war with your Inner Saboteur, you may find yourself cursing it as a pesky troublemaker – or even worse, a malevolent force that wants to undermine you and prevent your success. But there’s another way to view your Inner Saboteur; a way that can bring healing, peace, and fulfillment of your goals.
A client whom I’ll call ‘Margie’ was struggling to follow through with her decision to stay off alcohol. She was by no means a big drinker – she only drank socially, and had managed, with the aid of some previous EFT sessions, to cut out the weeknight drinking and keep it down to weekends only.
However, she was finding that even a couple of drinks made her feel physically and emotionally lousy the next day, and interrupted her regime of training for running events. She decided to stop drinking altogether.
But every time she went out, the seductive voice of the Inner Saboteur would whisper sweetly in her ear:
“Go ahead, just have one. You deserve a treat after all your hard training and healthy eating this week.”
Of course, once she succumbed and had one drink, she would have another, then another, then eat food she would normally avoid… and wake up the next day thinking
“Why did I do this again???”
She felt angry at, and victimised by, her Inner Saboteur. Why, she wondered, did it keep pushing her off-course?
We did some EFT tapping on her anger and frustration, then I raised another possibility she’d never thought of before – what if that Inner Saboteur wasn’t out to get her, but instead had a very positive (if misinformed) intent. What if it was like a free-spirited little child, that wanted to protect her against being controlled by boring, joyless adults? What if it was concerned that she might miss out on fun and enjoyment in her life, unless it prompted her to rebel against the ‘should police’?
Margie was intrigued by this idea, but still wanted that part to stop sabotaging her when it came to drinking. We launched into some more EFT, this time on coming up with ideas for other job descriptions she could give this part of her, so it could fulfill its purpose of safeguarding her enjoyment of life, and she could fulfill her promise to herself, to stay off alcohol.
She decided what she really wanted her (former) Inner Saboteur to do, was to help her really enjoy all the wonderful people and things she has in her life. She knew ‘in her head’ that she had a great life – a husband who adores her, delightful children, a lovely home, great friends…
Yet she could never quite feel all of these blessings ‘in her heart’. Even her athletic achievements only gave her a modicum of pleasure and pride, before the voice of her Inner Critic popped up and told her what she could have done better, or that someone else she knew had done better than her.
Margie realised that if she could actually take up and experience the opportunities for joy, pleasure and fulfilment that were already there for the taking in her life, she wouldn’t need to drink!
I led Margie through a tapping sequence in which she thanked her Inner Saboteur for its concern about her, and told it that henceforth, it would be helping and protecting her by guiding her and opening her up to truly enjoy the blessings in her life.
Redefining your Inner Saboteur as a friend-in-disguise creates a dramatic cognitive shift. It just feels so much better to see this part of you as being ‘on your side’ (but in need of guidance on how best to help you) rather than an implacable foe who’s out to sink you.
And with this shift in thinking comes a shift in energy that allows you to translate the possibility of change into reality.
Leave A Response